Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to 2011

Alright guys, can we all please just calm down?
This is seriously
Nothing at all.
We are adults, who for reasons unknown refuse to act like it
...
But seriously.
This could end badly.
Why can we not just be ourselves for the next little bit?

Hell or High Water

We did it. We were doubted, scorned, and laughed at.
The waiting hurt, and it drug on and on, and more often than not I lost sleep when I thought about it, but right now, none of that matters

We did it. It had to be done, for sure, and it was apparent that there wasn't any other choice to be made, when I think about you, I know, I know that this is the way it's gonna be. In love, come Hell or high waters.

Lily, Lily, Lily... we always said we were only just a matter of time, and now, we're right.
For a little while, life gets to be perfect.
We get to be in love.
No pretending, no hurting, no confusion or loneliness.
Just love


Chris & Lily... I like the way that sounds

Accepted!

Whelp, looky here. Accepted. I've been accepted, Who'da seen that one coming? So, as of September 2011 I'm a university student. At risk of blowing my own horn, I'm pretty proud of myself here.

So, y'know, go me :D'


The hard part just lies with figuring out exactly what I'm going to do with my life.

Lazy

I am by myself, I am slightly lonely, but very worst of all, I am bored.
Boredom is a crime, right? Aren't you always spewing out sentimental mush like that Chris? Go outstide, play your guitar, clean the house, just get something done with all of this spare time you have.
Well, I could go and do those thing
But I really
really
really don't want to.
Not to mention I have a splitting headache
Did I mention that today isn't my favorite day?

Ugh... Oh well, only 16 more to wait... time sure flies, doesn't it?

Makeout Playlist

It's playlist time! Why? Because I decreed it.


Makeout Playlist
Because what can really make the mood like music?

CAKE - Short Skirt/Long Jacket

Mumford and Sons - Winter Winds

Pretty Lights - Finally Moving

MGMT - Electric Feel

Animal Collective - My Girls

Chikita Violenta - All I Need's a Little More

Fall Out Boy - I've Got a Bad Idea and a Dark Alley that Says You Should Shut Your Mouth

Jose Gonzales - Heartbeats

New Pornographers - Crash Years

Oasis - Live Forever

Our Lady Peace - Somewhere Out There

Broken Social Scene - Anthems For a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl


Okay, so I picked an odd topic to handle just because there are thousands of breeds of makeouts. Whatever. I tried to make a playlist that would capture everything from youthful playfulness, to familiar partners meeting again, from tenderness to passion, and a little bit of comical joy that just comes from the bizzarity of kissing in the first place.


So, questions reader guys and ladies - First, any other tracks you would recommend, or just have removed from this playlist?

Second, any other suggestions for playlist topics?

Sex in Games

Dear artists, gamers, and generally carbon-based vertebrae
Watch this, and think about what is being said here, alright?

Blah blah blah

This is me. There is nothing remarkable about my appearance. I just wanted to take a picture of myself today.
On an unrelated note, English Muffins are probably my favorite breakfast

Also, I'm going to Edmonton! Buying things! Stimulating the economy! Emulating affection through bribery!

Story of the Day

After applying earlier this week, I received a phone call from the University of Lethbrige. Excited, I answered the phone eager to hear what they would have to say

"Are you Christopher Gast?"
"Yes, I am, are you calling about my application?"
"Yes, we just have one question- In the contact information section, under family name you put Christopher and under given name you wrote Gast."
"Oh... yeah, that's not my name"
"Okay, just calling to clarify"
-.-

Long story short, I'm bad at reading and felt utterly defeated... but on the plus side, that means somebody already looked at my application! :D

Softness

He looked through his hair at the red lighting blinking on the wall
"No fucking way..." Logan spoke, his words slow and articulate, barely above a whisper. Defeated, he shoved both his hands into his pockets leaned his forehead against the wall, and found himself automatically fingering the cold source of his shame in his right pocket. Behind him, an exhausted sigh echoed in the dark box.

"I'm ready for this night to be over," came the weak voice from the far corner of the elevator. "I-" she stopped, suddenly realizing the irony of her own situation


"No way... I've gotta be dreaming!" Taegan wrapped her arms around Logan, her face lighting up with joy. "How on Earth did you afford this?", her tone quavering with excitement, and implying her question was somewhat rhetorical. Logan remained silent, but his pride in his own decision was abundantly clear. Soft sounds of conversation, and the smell of expensive food bled out the restaurant into the night as the two stepped in, hand in hand.


"I'm not getting any reception in here" came Logan's voice, flat, his eyes still staring at the blinking red light on the wall. The time on his phone read that they had been stuck there for nearly forty minutes.
"Logan, I just..."
"Please. Not now... I... not now."


The couple sat down in a secluded, softly lit corner of the restaurant, ordered their food, and waited while they conversed frivolously, speaking of upcoming plans for the weekend, and social gossip as a an air of general optimism permeated the air around them, adding up to a total atmosphere somewhere between lovers and sibling intimacy.

Eventually the food arrived.


Seventy minutes, and activity was occurring outside the elevator, and conversation was deceased entirely. Logan sat, back to the wall, looking forlorn while the small object on his person seemed to be burning a hole in his fist. Confused, weary and distraught, Taegan sat in the opposite corner, facing the ground as tears formed in her eyes.


Before too long, the couple had finished eating, and with full stomachs and happy hearts, the two of them looked up at the waiter as he said with a distinct formal professionalism, "Dessert is on the house."

Taegan exhaled heavily, and looked toward Logan, a fulfilled smile painting her face.
"Honey... I wish this night didn't have to end." she said innocently, slowly closing her eyes, as if trying to remind herself of the reality of her own situation.
"Do you mean that?" Those four words seemed to linger in the space between them, reverberating in their own seriousness.
Rather than answering, the brunette angel across the table simply grinned

Short minutes later, two plates arrived, both carrying slabs of soft white cheesecake, one with a long red ribbon spiraling around the plate. Looking up at Logan with a mischievous suspicion, she began tugging on the ribbon, unraveling it with increasing rapidness, her childlike curiosity clearly taking hold as the wrapped the excess fabric on her wrist.
Time stopped as she saw it.
A ring.
The world distorting and tilting around him, Logan got on the floor beside his lover's chair.
"Taegan, there's a thousand ways I could say this, but only one I really know how to... Taegan, the night doesn't have to end. Not now, not ever. Taegan Gray, will you let this night last?"

Taegan looked down at the beaming, but clearly terrified man in front of her, and back to the gold ring resting in her palm and shook her head as her lower lip began to quiver.
"I'm sorry." A single tear rolled down her cheek as the dozens of patrons witnessing the spectacle pretended not to notice.


Ten minutes later, they silently stepped into the elevator to take them home.

Feel it... Feel you

Those of you who know me are probably already are well aware that I am a proud rocker, and an even prouder Canadian. You will then notice that the song I just posted is a dance/club music type track. I justify it by saying that both the DJ and vocalists are Canadian, and also that it's incredibly catchy, and is one of the few songs I would so far as to call sexy. Not sexual, sexy. There is a difference. An important difference at that.

Stupid Days

To quote Doctor Who - "Time is not linear as most people have come to believe. It's more of a... ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-whimey... stuff."

Doctor Manhattan states, "There is no future. There is no past. Do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet."

Long story short, both of these doctors who have the power to destroy the Earth altogether but don't both agree that time is not linear. Clearly, this means that the future is now, and the present is past, so by that logic, it could be oh, say... three years later at this very next second. Today could be a month behind me tomorrow.

So why is there still thirty-nine stupid days left?

Requires no Translaition

I had a moment today. It was a small moment, but it reminded me of why I am the way that I am, and more importantly, why I'm happy with what I am.

It was a trailer for a movie that I'm very fond of Lost in Translation (For those of you who have seen the movie, you'll already know that this trailer is very misleading. For those of you who haven't, watch it and then to watch the movie. It's amazing, one of those movies that really reminds you what it means to be human). Anyways, the tagline for the trailer is "Friendship needs no translation", a line that by itself could summarize a mission statement, a book, or even the reasoning behind a drastic change of scene.

I dunno... it's just one of those tiny things that really made me stop and think, and I liked the things it reminded me of, and how it made me feel. It's funny how I get sentimental over such mundane things.

The one, the only
~Chris

P.S. While ordering lunch, the waitress asked me if I would like to see the liquor menu, meaning I was mistaken for eighteen. I then realized that Friday was my half-birthday. Six months until I'm legally and adult. Crazy, isn't it?

Smile Like You Mean It

POST # 200!

Seriously though, what should I do to celebrate? I have a long weekend ahead of me, so ideas are welcomed!

Love is awesome, life is awesome, and you guys are all awesome. All four of you. Have a great weekend, and just... be happy.

Blurred

EXCLAMATION!
The places where the mind will roam!
The places that are far from home!

I am a helpless romantic. This is a fact about me, and is something that will probably never change. I also have a spirit of adventure. That may change with age, but I doubt it'll ever go away. Probably just... refine itself. I am not necessarily a good person, but I like to make people happy. I get attached, but deal well with stress, but I hate not getting my way. I am willing to compromise, but my opinion needs to be made clear at all times. The last thing is, I have the worst sleep habits of all time.

That is all, but before I depart, I wanna share my metaphor of the day. I'm very proud of myself for this one- A friend of mine was asking why she kept thinking about her ex, and I summed it up like this

"You know that feeling when you have a tooth pulled? Hurts, doesn't it, but you go through with it anyways, because that tooth needs to go so that something else can go there. Even after you get it pulled though, you'll run your tongue over that hole where it used to be hundreds of times, just because you were used to what used to be there."

The poet inside of me is proud of that one.

Most useless post = this one. Oh well. I'm working on a new short story. Should have it up in a little bit.

Degernerative morals

Today I went to a dance, and then remembered why I don't go to dances. I tried to enjoy myself, I really did, but Mormons are just no fun to party with at all. Those of you who know me should already be abundantly aware that that though not a lawless degenerate, I love a good time with... questionable morals.

Cinnamon whiskey = Great

Apple pie and Ke$ha = sub-par evening

That is the lesson I leave with you for tonight.

Jesse

This is a picture of my friend. Her name is Jesse, and she's just as good of a companion as she looks. She's friendly, kind, and understanding, all rolled up into a soft and adorable package.

Not everything is perfect about her though. She gets sad sometimes. It's because she's lonely. See, she has her own friend, Simon, but right now he's quite a ways away. Farther than she even really knows is possible. Jesse doesn't really understand why he has to be so far away, or even exactly where he is, but to her, those things aren't important. All that does matter to her is knowing what she wants, but what tragically isn't there. I'm just her friend, but I'm not what she really misses. I can talk to her, tell her stories about how brave she is, and some nights when she gets cold and lonely I hold her next to me, and we can close our eyes, and just be there for each other.

She has a dream though, and she's not going to give up on it. Jesse doesn't know too much, but she does know what's worth waiting for. She understands what she means to me, and that Simon feels the same way she does.

What Jesse doesn't know though is that I'm pulling for her, and there's a perfect spot in my backpack for her. We'll travel the world over to answer the questions on our minds... and that the world is smaller than a tiny puppy could ever really know.

Matter of Time

I love you.
I dunno why, really. I just do.
It makes sense to me, I guess.
And that's pretty great
You make me happy, and I hope that I make you happy too
Mostly I think we work out really good
And sometimes when I worry, I don't worry for very long.
I know that it's all going to work out
So I hold me head up, and know that I'm lucky
Because, simply put, I am
By all means and purposes, we shouldn't have met
But we did.
And, as we sometimes say
Now, it's only a matter of time.

GMH

We care about the things that make sense to us. The things that we can profoundly understand, and the things that make us feel warm and safe inside. The things that remind us what it means to be human in the very simplest way.

We suffer for the things we care about because it's a concept that we can understand. If we hurt enough, what we hurt for must be worth it. As a rule of thumb, nothing is black and white. There's gray everywhere we look, but really, it's all about how you interpret it.

Well... not everything. There something that isn't gray. It's perfectly white, actually. Hope. The things we strive for, and ache to make happen. The things we care about enough to change the world to make happen.


An elderly man sitting on a park bench one spring morning looks to his wife sitting beside him and says, "We did it, darling, we did it. We grew old together". Love like that is what give me hope.

Vidya

Disregard sleep
play video games

Opinions

I find that the more I learn, the more I find myself disagreeing with things or people I used to believe were right always, no matter what.

I used to hate to be that one guy who went out of a movie disagreeing with his friends. I would lie, or stay silent about whether I though it was good or entertaining, but now, I thrive on that point of view. It's not about being an individual, it's about recognizing what I think is right.

Really, I don't even like disagreeing. Arguing with someone I care about leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, but it's not as bad as that feeling in my gut when I know I haven't stood up for something I should have.

All things considered, I know it's kind of a roundabout way of saying it, but to me, it just comes out to sticking up for what you think is right.

I hope I don't hurt anybody's feelings with whatever transpires.

Young

We are young
We are invalid
We are stupid
We are selfish
We are shallow
We are unkind
We are beautiful
We are creative
We are offensive
We are misleading
We are sickly
We are invincible
We are ignorant
We are tired
We are rebellious
But we're happy
That's all we really understand
And it's all we really have to.

I can sleep when I'm dead.

Hey! I'm alive. Miss me yet, internet?
I don't really know why I haven't written. I guess I just haven't had much to say. I've been busy, I guess. My family is working, I'm working, and my senior year of high school is keeping me busy. I have the same friends, same dreams, same goals. Nothing's really changed lately... but I feel like that's something I can be okay with right now. I'm happy with life. It's just been one of those times where everything feels like it's all good.

So- opinions: What would be scarier: Learning your best friend is a serial killer in disguise, or learning that a serial killer who was a stranger was killing for you, y'know, watching you and taking out people who said something rude to you, or a co-worker who took that promotion that you thought you were going to get? Just food for thought.

Hum... Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep is fun, but the plot is silly. Axel shouldn't be there. I could go off on a huge tangent here, but long story short an extremely popular character appears in the game just to please fans, and it totally wrecks the flow of the story and feels really out of place. You can just tell he was shoehorned in there at the last minute with writing, and it makes me sad that the writers sank to that level. I expected more of them, is all.

Okay guys, that's all for today. I'll try to start writing more, now that I'm done with marching band.

My sleep schedule is the wost. Whatever.

You Slipped (Vanessa)

So I realized I liked you for all the things I hated
One thing after another, mistakes adding up.

You told me it would all be fine, so I braced for disaster
Some lights just aren't enough

You never wore shoes without your socks
Never listening to me
Always swore that you were different

With the world around you spinning faster and faster
You slipped.

It's well-known that you hate everything that loved you
We're past all that's past, and the past should be left in clear sight
We danced over the pane of glass, frosted over old mistakes
It all seems so clear now


You never wore shoes without your socks
Never listening to me
Always swore that you were different

With the world around you spinning faster and faster
You slipped.

Leave it all behind
Let it all go
When you open your eyes it's gone
Leave it all behind
Let it all go
When you open your eyes it'll all rush back


You never wore shoes without your socks
Never listening to me
Always swore that you were different

With the world around you spinning faster and faster
You slipped.

Gravity Rides Everything

Things are looking up for me. I think I've finally broken out of that slump I was stuck in for a while. I don't know exactly how I got over it bu I did. I have hope again, and it's truly glorious.
It goes without saying that I still feel lonely, but I guess that's part of the ride that I strapped myself in for. It hurts, but at least I've gotten used to it, and the days are full enough to provide adequate distraction. Next week the marching band is heading to Spokane for a competition. I'm not sure exactly how it will turn out, but at the least we aren't being graded.

I have no idea what it is, but right now, alone in the dark, just me and my thoughts, the gentle thrum of the water heater in the background, I feel safe. I just feel like everything is... okay. Like it'll all work out, and I don't need to worry or be scared of what the future's gonna throw at me. I just keep my head up, and the rest will work itself out. My breathing feels soft and slow in my chest, and my heart is relaxed to match. It's really nice. It's not often I just sit down and have time completely to myself.

It's chilling to think that even though we're half the world away, when we look at the sky, we still see the same moon. It's not quite as bright as it is when we remember the way it looked when we were together, but it's almost as good.

With you, life is a perfect adventure

Lolcats. Nothing but lolcats.

As an apology along with the previous post...

LOLCATS!







Goodness me, how did this get here?

Tooth hurty

I'm sorry that I haven't been posting. I really and truly feel bad about it. My excuse is that I recently had a tooth extracted, and my head has been in a fair deal of pain, making it difficult for me to think very much. This, also coupled with the fact that my family is now harvesting, makes for not a lot of time to write. I really am thinking about this blog, I very promise. Just give me a little while, and I'll be back. I'm going to make an effort to make this a daily posting thing again.

See you all soon! (Or in some cases not for way, way, WAY too long, but you take life as it comes right?)

Time is Drawing Closer

Studio Sounds

Today I spent six hours in the studio recording a single song with Third Step. It was a great experience, and we now have one really great track to show off. I'll post it tomorrow, and you guys can get a taste of what we're about

I'M A ROCK STAR!

Don't Take it Apart

To all my artsy* friends out there who follow my blog: I have an assignment... nay, a challenge for each of you.
In the upcoming weeks, my band will be producing a four (or five) track E.P.. The content of this album is a modern disco-punk thing, with tracks generally having an upbeat, energetically charged feel to them. Think dance club music, but not awful. Also, with punk rock and synth licks.
Anyways, my assignment for you is this: In the simplest terms, we are in need of an album cover. There are two major things we want to try to avoid: Pictures of any or all of the band, and skulls/bleeding hearts, or things that are of a general macabre nature. The title of the album is-
Third Step - Don't Take it Apart EP

And that, is my challenge for you.

* even to my non-artsy friends, post your ideas in word form. I need any ideas possible for a cover to this album. I really want it to be able to catch people's eyes, and strike them as interesting.

Thank you for whatever help you may offer, and I'll put a streaming version of the album on this site once it's up.

Scientists, Rock Stars and Poets

After looking around a little bit, I realized that a huge (well, not huge, but considerably larger than I though) amount of my friends have blogs that they update on a semi-regular basis. They're very, very interesting to read, but in a way, I really don't like looking at them. They make me feel like I'm intruding on something I'm not supposed to have any part of. I'm in a place of their creative and emotional states that I simply am not welcome, and don't belong in. This of course is intimidate contradicted by my fantastic curiosity of what they've all been up to in the time since I've seen them, but it's all so bittersweet to watch these people I know and love explore and grow up.

I wonder if any of them look at me and think the same thing. I really wonder if I should try to hide this blog or something.

I guess it kind of goes along with what I was talking about a while ago though, with the whole "Clouds 1.2.0.". That post was made due to a friend of mine coming to a hiatus on the blag that she had been writing for over two years, and who's blog I used as inspiration when I started writing in the first place. Here though, those thoughts are juxtaposed next to the birth of all these new blogs, and consequently, the ideas and emotions from all the people that are branching out of all of them. It's weird, but I like it. Not being alone in blogging doesn't not (double negative?) make me feel like an individual, but rather, it's nice to have so many other voices alongside mine in this bizarre endeavor.

Never Gonna Give You Up

I am that stable guy. You know the one. The friend everybody has who they feel safe with; who they can unload the problems of the world on, and rest easy, knowing that there's somebody else who's caring and (where he can) making a difference.

I will stay up late talking, set aside my music or my friends to help you, and generally just be a friend through anything. I will not get tired of anybody under any circumstances. I am here to help.

I just find myself growing weary every once in a while... but I won't give up.

The Clouds 1.2.0

This blog has become a very different project than it's initial vision. When I first created The Clouds it was to protect me from my own idle mind. I had a bad breakup that was somewhat worse than I was willing to admit. I decided that the best thing to do would just be to keep my brain busy, and give me a long, ongoing project to work on and care about. Sure enough, it worked, and actually did help, and consequently, this blog has grown as I have.

It's a little bit like the phoenix idea: It was created out of death, in my case, love, something I promised myself I would never lose. Writing this was my own way of channeling that death into something meaningful and full of life and helping to find (my own) personal truths.

It should go without saying though, that now The Clouds is something quite different. It's a collection of spontaneous and contemplated observations, thoughts and musings on the journey of one boy spiraling into life, toward manhood, and the future itself.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is The Clouds, and this is what I am. Take only what you need from it.

I Won't let You Fall

I'm the guy who's always got your back (even if you don't know how much that's really worth.)

Punk Rock

What you make us out to be is exactly what we are.
Some call us loud, rebels, punks, useless, misguided.
We call ourselves the future.
In our struggles, we've learned to solve conflict with noise.
We refuse to take your "no" for an answer,
and we embrace our mistakes in all the ways you shy from.
Adaptable, dependable, strong, smart,
That's how we roll.

We are punk rock
This is our world.

Look at this. I demand that you do.

http://www.jonkmusic.com/2010/07/best-songs-of-2000s-part-4.html

Clouds

Life is only as perfect as you make it. Look up and see the clouds forming overhead, but don't hide from the rain. You hear thunder, and feel fear, and as you're soaked to the bone, you continue to look up at that clouds, looking for different shapes in the rolling grey overhead.

Grown-ups

I've had a difficult time writing lately. My last half-dozen attempts at post just come out as a mess of thoughts and ideas, and are really just kind of gibberish. I'm not really sure what to say or how to say it, but I do know there's something in there. I'm just still in the process of working on it.

Anyways, I'm back in school (bluh. Exhausting even to think about). I'm getting reconnected with my friends and with my life again, but it's still really awful to have to relinquish such a fantastic summer to memory. I feel melancholy at the though of it, but time goes on right? I mean, before I know it I'll be writing diplomas and getting ready for my last summer before I got off to university.

I'm almost a grown-up.

When did that happen?

Need You Now

Take Only What You Need From Me

Look, it's safe to say I miss you.

I've come to terms with this though, and I'm doing everything I can to change the reality that has been thrust upon us. This is not, and never will be something to take lying down.

After I'm caught, touch turns into fisticuffs

When the world gets rough, let my smile distract you
When you feel weak, let my fists fight for two
When fear is advancing, let my love blind you
When the hurt wants to consume, let my arms hold you

I felt you in my life before I ever thought to

When it began we were kids. Just kids. We had no idea what was going on, or what we were getting ourselves into. December 27, 2007. I told you I loved you for the first time. I fell asleep with a smile on my face that night. You were in my prayers, my thoughts and my intentions from then on. We danced with disaster, and fought the odds, and with luck, promises and hope we did it.

Maybe you just need a friend as clumsy as you've been

I made mistakes. I hurt you, and I was blind to it. Nineteen months of cautionary warnings, and strained feelings. We told each other it was better this way, but the Autumn wind never really had a chance to blow away Summer love. Through all the things I did, bad and worse, there's something that I was always amazed by. You held my hand no matter the sin, or the price that had to be payed for it. Sometimes I felt scared and alone, but when that happened you just gripped tighter.

Love you. You were all mine
Love me. I was yours, right?

Fixed

What you want, you are. You always were.
When the plans fall. Changing hands
What are the chances of winning?

You, you hold my heart
You, you won't let up
After I'm caught, touch turns into fisticuffs.
It's all in your head, wonder if I'm fixed to caught?


For it's statistics in the collected whole
With all the hunger that keeps you climbing walls
It's the one thing you can count on
We all end floating away
We all end floating away

You, you hold my heart
You, you won't let up
After I'm caught, touch turns into fisticuffs.
It's all in your head, wonder if I'm fixed to caught?

Is it your fault?
Is it your fault?
Is it your fault?
Is it your fault?
Is it your fault?
Is it your fault?
Is it your fault?
Is it your fault?

You, you're sinking (so they say)
You, you're finished (so they say)
You, you're buried (so they say)
You, a killer killing faith.

Hugs

I liked being able to hold you. You always felt warm and comfortable, and made me smile when I had my arms around you.

Dalai Lama’s 18 rules for living

At the start of the new millennium the Dalai Lama apparently issued eighteen rules for living.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
1. Respect for self
2. Respect for others
3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

For Everything Else, there's an Entry-Level Job.

Plane tickets to Mexico in December - $450
New Epiphone Dot - $440
New Driver's License - $22.95
Orange Juice - $1.00*(4*15)
Responsibility - Priceless

True love - ...
...
...
*smooch*

I did

I recorded a song today, but I was not happy with the result and wanted to record it again. I am too tired to make it sound better than the first one.

I wrote a story yesterday. I couldn't come up with an ending that I felt suited it, so I will not share it until I can figure out how.

I read Scott Pilgrim 2, and it makes me want Scott Pilgrim 3. I now have a job, and will shortly afterward have money to acquire the things I want.

I am tired, and need sleep.

Accidentally in Love

I'm not sure how I am right now. Really though, that's how I've been feeling for the past week in it's entirety. I mean, everything is great- I've got great friends, the weather's really nice, everybody's been in a good mood, I can stay up late, write songs, play video games, y'know, all the stuff that summer is about when you're seventeen.

Given the choice, I'd take heartache to heartbreak any time, no matter what. I mean, with heartache, it hurts just as bad... maybe even worse, sometimes, but you know that ll of the suffering is for a cause, and you know exactly what it is, and how it is. Just that it's far away, and you have to keep on playing by the rules of the game until you can finally come out a winner.



She says "What's the problem baby?"
"What's the promlem? Maybe I'm in love..."
"Love?!?"
"Yeah. I think about it whenever I think about it... can't stop thinking about it."
"Well, do you think you could cure this?"
"I wish I could cure it. I can't ignore this if it's love."
"Ah... I see. Dancing under blue skies, singing sticky-sweet love songs, all that, is it?"
"Maybe I should just surrender... it's be like strawberries for the heart, sweet and nourishing."
"You're going to give in? Just like that?"
"..."
"..."
"Maybe... maybe reluctance to give in should be... reconsidered?"
"It's funny. You aren't nearly as resolute as you play."
"Oh, shut up. And the way I see it, it's peaches."

Avenues

There are no two ways about it. I miss you.
I have no poetry, no metaphors, no stories.
I miss you, plain and simple.

August, and Everything After

I don't know exactly where I am right now. I mean, I knew it was coming, and I did what I could to prepare myself, but we all know that when push comes to shove, you can never really brace yourself for the impact of your own heart.

It's summer, but I still feel a chill outside. Maybe it's just because I had begun to get used to your warmth next to me, or maybe it's just my own mental overcast keeping me from feeling rays of optimism in my head. I keep trying to keep my hands busy, and keep my brain doing something else just to keep it off of what's happening right now with me.

It's not that I feel hopeless, but more that I don't know if I'm quite ready to put total hope in myself. For a little while, instead of clinging to prayers, dreams and promises, we didn't have to hang onto anything. For a little while, all of the things that we had to put our faith in were right there, with open arms and a thousand stories to share with glistening eyes. For a little while, we didn't have to lose sleep, fret or even hurt. We got the chance to be safe. To be loved absolutely, held dear to somebody's heart.

We got the chance to dream together.

I promise though, I haven't given up yet, and I'm not going to. 145 days, and it's getting shorter every hour. We can do this. For a long time, it won't be easy, but we can do it.

*I hold it all when I hold you*

The Cold Part

I feel tired but very happy. I went on a super-cool adventure today, and had the time of my life with people I'm very enthusiastic about spending time with. I ate the worst sucker of my life, and failed in an attempt to pet a deer, although I got very close to it. Also, I went to Toy Story 3, and I really enjoyed it. Today was just overall a very nice experience that everyone should be able to have every once in a while.


Then why on Earth do I feel so antsy! GAH! This is so irritating. I feel like something is going to blow up, but I don't know what
grumble grumble


Hopefully this thing will go a way by tomorrow

Smooches

Waiting can be Hell.
That doesn't mean that it isn't worth it though.
Not by a long shot.

Anyone who says dreaming or hope is waste of time needs to get with it.
...Anyways, suffice it to say, I'm fantastically happy right now.
I feel like dancing

Home at last

YAAAAAA!!! THEY'RE HERE! THEY'RE HERE THEY'RE HERE THEY'RE HERE!!!! I'M SO EXCITED THIS IS CRAZY! NEARLY SIX MONTHS OF WAITING IS FINALLY OVER! I JUST WANNA GO FIGHT A BEAR OR RUN A RACE OR SOMETHING I'M SO STOKED FOR EVERYTHING FOREVER!

LIFE IS AWESOME!

Please Follow Me

This week I saw OK GO and Mariana's Trench live in concert (I got punched for a drumstick at OK GO), I performed in front of the Prime Minister, got dead last in a marching competition, went to the hot springs on Banff, and had a great time there. Also, a girl who I think may have been slightly high told me I was like an older brother to her, and that was a little bit weird... whatever though. You play with the cards that you're dealt, right?

Life is good right now. Skies are blue, sun is bright, and for seventeen days my world is about to be perfect.

P.S. My bag and new shirts are FINALLY here. This is a very nice thing to have happen to me.

Thirty-six hours left. Thirty-six too many.

Off-White

We did it, baby! The long nights, and trying fantasies... but we did it. Against all odds we did it. All the promises we made all those years ago are coming true again and again. It really was only just a matter of time, wasn't it?

I love you Lily
Always and forever
9 days.
That's all
Nine

Book 'o' Love Poems

If there's anything I've learned as a writer and as a romantic, it's that there's no way that you can win a girls heart with prose.

Camping

Woo going camping woo be back on Tuesday night woo.

It's all in the Eye of the Beholder

No. I've never had to put my faith in the music or the teachings of others. The way I see it, it's just a way of telling a story. Don't get me wrong, I love the sounds, and some of the stories have gone so far as to become a part of me, and what I am to the wold.

But that's just it. They're only stories. Poems, prose, anecdotal evidence of a rainbow of emotions and ideas.

The group themselves mean nearly nothing to me. Naturally, what they do is important, and how they do it is too, but really, when push comes to shove, to me, it isn't real. Another form of escape and fantasy, not far from books of video games.

It helps sometimes. An escape is an escape, and music is a wonderfully raw form of emotion for an artist, much like photography, but applying itself to the spirit in a much more processable way. It's beautiful, and science.

A chord is a chord no matter how it's strummed, or in what context, 4/4, 9/8, or 7/2. Minor, major, third, fourth, fifth, it's all the same. It doesn't matter.

The only time it does is when it's me.

To me, my own creation is perfect. It's not as well crafted, or as skilled or touching as millions of others, but it's looking in my mirror, and finding a perfect reflection of past and future. They say an artist is the sum of his creations, but really, it's a backwards equation. The creation is derived from the artist.
And that's what musicians are dying to share.

There's a reason I've been fighting to get studio time for three years, or that I'll jump at any opportunity to play my guitar in public, even on a park bench on a lonely autumn morning. We want to share our lives, our love, our pain, pride, joy, lust, and everything in between. We want to share what we've done. It's something special to us when people tell us we can relate, or how they might feel that we understand what they are.

But really, we don't.

Less than three

Marching band is an exhausting thing.

I swear, you spend years and years marching around on field, but you never totally get used to it. You get better, and you don't get as tired, and it even comes to the point where the other member of the band will even look up to you, come to you for advice, or even just watch the moves you make, how you carry yourself, and how your eyes look, and try to model themselves after you... that is, until they maybe figure out that you have no idea what in the hell you're doing.

Really, love is the exact same way.

You know it's there, and you don't deny that the effect of it is something very real, but you'll never understand it. People will fall in love, maybe around you, with you, or even just the notion of you... maybe you'll fall in love too. You'll break rules, challenge standards, swings fists and generally raise Hell all in the name of protecting it, until you realize that it wasn't something to protect, that you were the one being abused, or that you had got so caught up in protecting it that your perfect diamond had reverted back to a bitter lump of coal.

You'll be told that it was coal all along, and you know that they were right, but it still hurts, and you aren't any closer to understanding it, or more importantly, understanding yourself.

And we all know the next part: The one we pray for by night, and live for by day. The radiant dawn... the angel.

A chance comes, and for whatever reason, you take it. You go out on a limb, forget about the past and jump

If you're lucky, the angel you thought was looking at you will catch you... but you realize one last thing in the process. She was falling too. You saved each other from your own fears, and along the way, dreams came true

For Lily II

It's three in the morning.
Three in the morning.
I feel alive.
I close my eyes, and it just feels like a rush, a blur, exciting and out of control
And then, it stops, in a vision of the near future
A figure- a woman
She smiles at me, and despite my faux composure, I melt inside,
And she knows it.
I should be asleep
The future keeps me awake.
When a prayer becomes a promise...
The promise
Not even the impossible can come between us
I love this.
But, more importantly
I love you.

Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen

I love summer. Seriously, I just stayed up late to watch The Matrix: Reloaded with my brother, and guess what consequences I'm going to have to reap from making myself tired tomorrow?
That's right, absolutely nothing! :D

Life is good.
Summer time... and the living's easy...

Odessa

Have you ever heard the ever-tacky saying that music is what feelings sound like?
If that is truly the case, than this is nostalgia captured note-for-note.

Trouble is my Left Hand

One of the philosophies I try to live by is a perversion of the Gandhi quote "Be the change you want to see in the world", changed to "Be the trouble you want to see in the world".
I try to be. I make life interesting and just chaotic enough for myself and those who dare to travel close enough to me to be able to keep their heads on, but not perfectly straight.

But... what if I'm not ready to deal with the consequences of my trouble?

Read My Mind

Wow. I love this song so much. Words can't even describe what it makes me feel... seriously, I dare anybody reading this to listen to this song and try not to sing along. It's a waste of time, trust me.


On the corner of main street
Just tryin' to keep it in line
You say you wanna move on and
You say i'm falling behind
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?

I never really gave up on
Breakin' out of this two-star town
I got the green light i got a little fight
I'm gonna turn this thing around
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?

The good old days the honest man
The restless heart the promised land
A subtle kiss that no one sees
A broken wrist and a big trapeze

Oh well i don't mind you don't mind
'cause i don't shine if you don't shine
Before you go can you read my mind?

It's funny how you just break down
Waiting on some sign
I pull up to the front of your driveway
With magic soaking my spine
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?

The teenage queen the loaded gun
The drop dead dream the chosen one
A southern drawl the world unseen
A city wall and a trampoline

Oh well i don't mind you don't mind
'cause i don't shine if you don't shine
Before you jump tell me what you find
When you read my mind

Slipping in my faith until i fall
He never returned that call
Woman open the door don't let it sting
I wanna breathe that fire again

She said i don't mind you don't mind
'cause i don't shine if you don't shine
Put your back on me
Put your back on me
Put your back on me

The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds
Cut out of the sun
When you read my mind

School's Out!

Summer is here. Today was the last day of school, and besides three exams, I'm free! I can practically taste the opportunity and adventure that the days and weeks coming have prepared for me... but then again, it may be there the adventure just needs to be... taken.

That can be arranged too.

Where is the line drawn?

Shattered windows, and the sounds of drums. People couldn't believe what I'd become.
Six word poems, and I'm the king of the world. Bow down.
Cold Saturday nights, sleep alone. The dark thoughts, hidden.
Eyes closed, sinful pictures flash. Summer rain, holding hands.
First kiss, laughter. By the third, breath is lost.
Friday night, youthful celebrations. Sunday morning, innocence lost.



A/N- Take what you want from this one. It was originally meant to be read as one thing, but it has a nice feel to it if taken as a series of disjointed haiku.

2001 Pontiac Grand Am

NEW CAR! NEWCARNEWCARNEWCAR!!!!!
Holy crap is this thing sweet! Slick, fast, sexy, economical, and it has a working CD player!... not to mention a wide back seat...
HAHA, life is sweet right about now!

My only tiny complaint is that the mechanical seat lift is broken, meaning it can't go down, meaning my head is in constant contact with the ceiling. I need to fix this. I can't look behind me, which probably isn't very safe.

So excited for this summer! Thirty-one days, baby!

Finals

School is out in less than seven days for me... however, during three of those days I will be writing finals.
I am exhausted. I need to get my sleep for these upcoming tests... gotta do good so I can succeed in life... or something.


P.S. I've decided that this summer I'm going to live in a tent in my backyard. It will be wonderful.

Start again

There are so many things I want to say to you, but time’s caught me up and now I’ll never say them — except that I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you and every moment since.” ~ Robin Hood


I inhale, and stare down the isle, as everybody looks up at me expectantly, as though I should have any idea what to do. That aside, I don't feel terribly worried. There's something about wearing a suit, and being the center of attention that's very empowering. I feel somewhere in-between in control, and passing out... so slightly better than an ordinary day.
My little brother makes eye contact with me, and mouths the words "What's going on?". I just shrug. People are beginning to shift uncomfortably in their seats, and whisper to one another, in what I imagine is a similar in fashion to my brother's anxiety. For a second, I think I catch her father glare at me, but it might just be in my head.

Suddenly, one door swings halfway open, and a female figure steps through, as if thinking that she could get by unnoticed if she was quiet.

Unlike her, to say the least.

Collectively, the entire building lets their breath out in relief, except for me. I can feel something in the air that everybody else seems to be numb to.

If the delay was forgotten, she looks like the perfect bride. One of the ones from a picture in a magazine. She stood confidently, despite claiming to me once upon a time that she would never dress up formally, even for her own wedding. Five-ten, she stands at the same height as me, and the heels made it look even more queer. Her hair is straight, shoulder length, with traces of redhead genes in her brunet lineage. Her shocking blue eyes are articulated with an usual dose of makeup underneath her glasses. To me, she looks way out of her comfort zone, but if you didn't know her, you'd be surprised that she doesn't look like this every day.

Then she winks at me. A split second gesture, but the stakes have quickly changed. I don't know what to, but I'm quickly on my toes.

In one fluid motion, she kicks off her shoes, and bolts out the door, faster than her dress should allow.

My brother starts whispering something to me, but I can't hear him... I'm already coming up with a plan. Before anybody has time to react, my jacket is at my feet, and I'm sprinting after her.

As I near her, she grabs my hand and comically calmly, she says "I told you this was gonna be the best day of our lives!"
"Where are we going?"
"..."

Hand in hand we step through the church doors, and the cool Autumn wind blows through my shirt, sending a shiver down my spine. The sun is beginning to set, and the small town street feels sleepy in both directions. There's small white car running next to the sidewalk. It's mine. I think about asking where she got the keys, but I decide it's in my best interest not to.

"Aren't you gonna open the door for me?" she grins, stepping down the stairs toward the vehicle. I loosen my tie with one hand, as I shake my head and open the door. People are beginning to walk out of the church, and her father is shouting at her, though not angrily. She rolls down the window, and waves to the quickly forming crowd as I step into my car. Looking over at her, I close my door and smiling like a maniac I say to her, "Hold on, darling."

I punch the gas, and the tires spin for a second before gripping, and we take off, heading east, toward the advancing night.



A/N- Started off as a wedding gone wrong, but in the process of creation, became about a psychotic bride. I still like it though. Please share your thoughts, I appropriate feedback and all that jazz.

Superheroes

I love superheroes.
Y'know why? Because they're so much larger than life. With superheroes, the only limits are yourself. They can fly, or transform, or stop bad guys, or shoot really cool laserbeams.
In essence, I love them because they're just better than reality, and the fact that they aren't real makes them even more amazing. It means that somebody had to dream them up, and somebody has to keep dreaming to keep them, their stories and their fantastic universes alive.
Mr. Fantastic, AKA: Reed Richards. A brilliant astrophysicist with the ability to stretch his body, up to lengths of one mile. When he realized that he and his companions (Invisible Woman, AKA: Susan Storm, the Human Torch AKA: Johnny Storm and The Thing, AKA: Ben Grimm) had their physical bodies altered by cosmic radiation, I swear, he did one of the coolest things in comic book history. Instead of getting with the government, or trying to suppress the actions of Johnny (who is extremely reckless) he came up with the concept of giving them outlandish names and costumes so that the public would be more fond of the light-hearted heroes that were on their world.
Say what you like, but I can't help but think that's just the coolest, and most effective thing anybody could have done in that situation. It makes me grin a little just to think about it.

Ever since I was a little kid I wanted to be a superhero. I could never explain why, and even now, I still only have a pretty vague idea. I know it's impossible by every stretch of the imagination, but it's such a fantastic concept.
For me though, I think the biggest thing is challenging real life. I could be on top of the world. I could fly over mountains, or catch bullets. Basically, nothing could stop me. I could be amazing.

I wish I could be superhuman... beyond any other definitions of fantastic.

I am Pretentious. Go figure

The Pretentionist
Take this quiz

On Sex

I'm going somewhat out on a limb in saying this, but I'm gonna say it anyways: I can't help but feel that when people get going about saving sex for marriage that it just seems foolish.
The way I see it, lust and love go hand in hand, and one cannot truly exist without at least traces of the other. Does it count as lying or just denial if you say to yourself, "I don't want to have sex until I'm married."?
Either way, it hardly matters on a personal level. What does matter though, is being lectured about what I think is right. I get that sex it a touchy subject for most, I've come to terms with this fact, especially in the environment that I grew up in. Having a girl younger than me get after me for saying that saving sex doesn't make sense to me isn't just degrading, it's straight-up offensive.
There's the concept of innocence and purity, and then there's naivety, and I feel like with some of the people I've been talking to that line has been blurred by upbringing and background rather than personal judgment.

So, yeah, I'd write more on this, but really, I'd only just sound like a broken record. If you don't mind, I'd kinda like to hear opinions on this one

High School Loser

I thought I could have been the man for the job. I really did.
I genuinely had my hopes set on the fact that I could be different, and make a difference, but I was wrong.
I believed that they would give me a chance to prove that I was the best option, and I wanted to make that real.
I wanted to make my school proud.
I wanted to make myself proud.

But I failed.

Presidency Speech Pt. 2 (Kinda)

Wow. Just wow. Jared wrote this song (He's running for vice with me), and wow. I can't help but smile every time I read it. It's to the tune of "Poker Face", so you can probably hum it in your head. Tomorrow after my speech (which I revised/finished, thank you all for your suggestions) we're going to perform this, and with any luck it'll buy us a few more votes.
Anyways, lemme know what you think, and I'll definitely try to get someone in the seats with a video camera to record this, and I'll try to put it on the Youtubes
Wish me luck!




Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah

I wanna vote for Chris because he’s really cool.
A new sensation - he’s the answer for our school (I love it)
We’re making change ‘cause we believe in a fresh start.
And if you vote for Chris you can be sure - you’re in his heart.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
Chris is nice, with Hubbard for vice
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
Chris is nice, with Hubbard for vice

Take a try
Take a try
You know you wanna, vote for Chris!
(Vote for Christopher and Jared)
Touch the sky
Touch the sky
You know you wanna, vote for Chris!
(Vote for Christopher and Jared)

V-v-v-vote for Chris, v-v-vote for Chris
(Mum mum mum mah)
V-v-v-vote for Chris, v-v-vote for Chris
(Mum mum mum mah)

You wanna vote for Chris; a fun year it will be.
The student council needs some guys like him and me (I love it)
in this election, we believe that we have won.
‘Cause baby when you vote for Chris, you know we’ll make it fun (fun)

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
Chris is nice, with Hubbard
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
Chris is nice, with Hubbard

Take a try
Take a try
You know you wanna, vote for Chris!
(Vote for Christopher and Jared)
Touch the sky
Touch the sky
You know you wanna, vote for Chris!
(Vote for Christopher and Jared)

V-v-v-vote for Chris, v-v-vote for Chris
(Mum mum mum mah)
V-v-v-vote for Chris, v-v-vote for Chris
(Mum mum mum mah

I will tell that Chris loves you, kiss and hug you
He’s not bluffin’ - Have a muffin
I'm not lying - Chris is stunning, and we’re up and running.
Just like a gem, we’ll run this school
Place you vote - ‘cause we still love you.
I promise this, promise this
Vote for Chris cause he’s marvellous.

Take a try
Take a try
You know you wanna, vote for Chris!
(Vote for Christopher and Jared)
Touch the sky
Touch the sky
You know you wanna, vote for Chris!
(Vote for Christopher and Jared)

Take a try
Take a try
You know you wanna, vote for Chris!
(Vote for Christopher and Jared)
Touch the sky
Touch the sky
You know you wanna, vote for Chris!
(Vote for Christopher and Jared)

V-v-v-vote for Chris, v-v-vote for Chris
(Mum mum mum mah)
V-v-v-vote for Chris, v-v-vote for Chris
(Mum mum mum mah

V-v-v-vote for Chris, v-v-vote for Chris
(Mum mum mum mah)
V-v-v-vote for Chris, V-V-VOTE FOR CHRIS

Presidancy speech.

Okay, so I seriously need every single reader to do this for me- NO EXCEPTION, I NEED THIS. All I want is a suggestion of how to end this thing. I've practically wrung my brain out over this, and I can't come up with anything. Ideas, anyone?

Please note the "Past, Present, Future" theme going here



Do you remember what it was like all those years ago? Think back, the first day of the seventh grade. The familiar walls and doors of the elementary where you had spent six years working your way to the top suddenly gone, replaced with lockers heavy textbooks, and people who were way bigger than you absolutely everywhere?
But you survived. If you're like me, you still aren't sure how, but you've made it as far as you have. Through homework, late nights, basketball games and all the drama, you made it.
And trust me, things only get better from here.
For those of you in high school already, I think we can all agree that this last year has been a pretty great one. High-energy pep rallies, some genuinely creative dances and activities that I think were a fantastic job on the part of the current student council.
But there's a kicker in this: It could be even better.
The biggest difference between Quincee Hoy and myself is this- This winter, she was on the basketball team, down on the court, making passes, scoring baskets, and making our town proud, cheering for the team. I, however was in the back of the stands, trombone in hand, waiting for a pause in the game so I could make a little noise to support the girls... and really, that's what I'm about in a nutshell.
It is not about the accomplishments or ideas of myself or the student council for presidency. The way I want things to be, we're just the ones to make the things you want to see real. I am the catalyst to your thoughts, and I will not give up on this promise.
Remember when we couldn't have a talent show this year? Some of us were kind of upset over that, we wanted to be able to showcase what we could do to the school. If this were my doing, I would have set up a stage on my own time, worked power, sound, accommodations, whatever it takes. For me, it's about going out of my way to give you the high school year that you always wished you could have.

Walking Disaster

Good intentions are only half of the battle. The latter part is the actual execution, and I seem to have a poor track record in this part, with one disastrous happening after another, all inflict due to my (in)action.
I hate being destructive. I try my best. I really do. I'm just... fated for destruction, it seems. At this rate, I'll be dead by 25.

On a totally unrelated note, I have no inspiration for writing, or ideas for what to write. Ideas, anyone? Something wacky, or unconventional. I'm really happy with how Miserabelia turned out.

*sigh* I need a vacation or something... 41 days, darling.

Adventure Always

Used to be one of the rotten ones,
And I liked you for that.

I miss mischief... my little bit of Southern heat. What happened to hot nights, relaxing days, adventure around every corner, and disaster and trouble nowhere to be found?

I need a little romance in my life.
44 days... Adventure, always

Nothin' to see here.

I went shopping online for new clothes today. I need to re-outfit myself for the summer.

That is all.

Gravity

It's nearly June and it's snowing here. I swear, this country is just messing with all of us at this point.

Anyways, I've been busy lately... preparing for finals, spending time with friends, working on new songs and personal writing projects, running for high school president, community service, reading, keeping up with politics, and from time to time, sleeping.

I dunno what it is about the last little while. At the time everything feels right and good, but when I look back on things, my days just feel hollow, like nothing special has come out of them. The single exception to this was the "date" that I went on last night. I didn't know until a few hours into the date that the girl I was with had never been out with a guy in any way, shape or form before. I really feel like I did a good job of making the evening special for her. I mean, I'm not sure how significant the whole thing'll be for her, but I hope she can remember it in the best light.

On an unrelated note, I worked at a charity garage sale earlier today. It was stunningly boring. I really wish that I hadn't volunteered for the thing, but I guess it was good... I got some exercise moving desks and couches for people who bought them. I hate being hired muscle, but you do what has to be done right?

Sleeping is dumb. We need to figure out some sort of energy supply for humans so that we don't have to waste so many hours of our lives just regenerating.

Okay. That is all.

P.S. I totally wish I could an airbender.

Just Lucky, I Guess

Girlfriend's mother asked me if I was in love with her, earlier tonight. Being the kind of person that I am, I replied with straight-faced honesty.
I'm very glad I made this decision. Her and I went on to have a really nice talk, and get to know each other a little bit more. I can't explain why, but it just gave me this nice, warm reassuring feeling inside of me.
Fifty days... it's coming faster and faster now.

Misrebelia

Staring at a blank page, I can feel the dark corners of exhaustion advancing in on my vision, though I'm kept awake by his violent coughing from the next room.
The hands on the clock read 7:37, with the second hand halfways to the '1', just the same as they've been stuck at for the last four days. I keep thinking that I need to get him to fix it, but I know as well as he does that if anyone could find a way to wreck a clock more than it already is, it'd be him.
Taking a drink from the glass next to me, and instantly forgetting the sensation, even as I swallow, I look back down at my desk. Fifty empty lines on the page. From the road outside, and ambulance races past, casting a new red backdrop on my otherwise bleak surroundings for a moment.
I bring the glass to my lips again, to discover that it's empty. My own indifference is nearly overwhelming. It's not so much my body's need for water as it is my physical defeat pushing away any other desires. I don't just want to sleep. I simply need it at this point.

My chest hurts.
Really hurts.
I get up, pulling my face out of the arm of the couch, only to have my head feel light, and my ears ringing. Steadying myself on the lamp on the end table, I stumble to catch it. She's tired enough as it its. It's hardly fair of me to add another broken lamp to everything on her plate.
I stumble to the kitchen, and blindly clasp the nearest glass to me, and hold it under the running faucet, splashing water onto my wrist and knuckles. I take a sip, and it tastes very faintly of beer... the same as the cause of the splatter on my shirt, if I remember correctly.
I down the glass in one gulp, and feeling more conscious, tiptoe back to the living room where I woke up. I can see one of my shoes lazily tossed aside underneath the table in the middle of the room. I'll look for the other in the morning.
I peel my shirt off of my lanky torso, and lay back down on the couch, face-up, and close my eyes to the sound of an ambulance rushing somewhere. In a weird kind of way, it's very soothing, the thought that the world is still spinning all the worst ways.

I give up. Not tonight. Maybe coffee tomorrow will help me think of something. What I wouldn't give to be worry-free for a couple hours.

Dream-self

My dream-self is a jerk. The situation was something like this
I'm sitting on a couch, Lily next to me, and she's crying, though I can't recall why. I wrap my arms around her, and promise her that everything is going to be okay. She scoots closer to me, curls her legs up, and puts her head on my chest. It's like this for several minutes until I blink, and suddenly it's like I'm watching a movie, suspended several feet above the two of us.
Then, I hear my voice say, "Don't open your eyes. If you do, you'll wake up and remember that this is all just a dream."
Naturally, I open my eyes, and I'm in my room, the sun is risen, and I'm clutching my pillow close to my chest.

Losers

Wow. Talk about shenanigans. Seriously, I think I've broken over twenty laws in the last hour... but damn, if that wasn't an AWESOME time, I don't know what was.
Shopping carts rule, plain and simple.

Spastic Breathing

Okay, so get this: I've got an awesome idea for sorta brother and sister story ideas stemming from two extremely different trains of thought, but coming together to make one really kick-ass idea. Maybe it's crazy, but check this out: The two very different points of view in these songs made into two lovers feeling extremely contrasting emotions for each other, but how they come together to make something beautiful, regardless.
You never know, it could come out just some sloppy mess, but it'll be my sloppy mess. Wish me luck!

Diary of a Dead Kid

Dear freakin' lord. I was partying (with Mormons) until 6:30 in the morning, I got home, went to bed, and only just woke up.
It's probably not very positive that blogging is taking priority over taking a shower or getting something to eat.
Gah. I have the grosses rings under my eyes. I'll do a post tonight when I don't want to die


P.S. It really was a good time last night though. I DJ'd a mini-rave on a mini-golf course, and that was really cool.

NPH

I just had a girl tell me she masturbated to Neil Patrick Harris.
I need to stop asking questions about anything ever.
I really don't want to know.



(Seriously though, he's a really good singer/actor. He's one of my favorites.)

?

I am right
I am wrong

Wishing Well

Third Step is (left to right) Christopher Gast, Jared Hubbard, Seth Harris, CJ Murray, Zac Beres


One, two, three, FOUR!

Another night, another deal
I'm outside, looking through your windowsill
I gave you life; you gave me hell
That's why I'm drowning in a wishing well
Grey eyes, that cannot see
Are like a mirror staring back at me
If I could hide, seize on a whim
I'd learn to sink before I learned to swim

Lock me up inside a padded cell
And I'll scream until the walls come down
you didn't know it
But I found you out
I found you out
You can say it, I don't care-
I don't want you anywhere near my head,
because I can see, inside your eyes a wishing well

Another day, another time
I bring you up here for the perfect crime
You gave me hope, I gave you all
You picked me up and then you watched me fall
She's in my lungs, it's hard to breath
When all you are is a hyperbole
Of something real, I cannot reach
I'm like the student that you cannot teach.

Lock me up inside a padded cell
And I'll scream until the walls come down
you didn't know it
But I found you out
I found you out
You can say it, I don't care-
I don't want you anywhere near my head,
because I can see, inside your eyes a wishing well

I'll take you home (I'll take you home)

And now I'm drowning in a wishing well
I wanna scream but I can't make that sound
I didn't want to, but I found you out
I found you out

So Booky...

Finally done the play... I sorta miss it already. I mean, it's nice to be over with the whole thing, and I can get on with my life, but on the other hand, I'm going to miss the other members of the cast, and the crazy antics we all got up to.
Ah well... all's well that ends well.

I got my "birthday gifts" today (as in, I cashed in my gift cards). I picked up three books, Superman: Red Son, The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy (A Trilogy in Five Parts), and Atlas Shrugged.

To be clear on something, buying a Superman mini-series is odd for me. I almost never delve into the D.C. universe being the Marvel fanboy I am. Red Son is something very interesting though- What if our American hero's kryptonian rocket had landed twelve hours later, and instead of the embrace of Mr. and Mrs. Kent, had been raised in the arms of a loving Joseph Stalin on a Ukrainian collective farm. Lois Lane becomes Lois Luthor, and it's just a very... interesting take on an American icon that's also an interesting deconstruction of the classic Communism Vs. Capitalism.

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy should require no explanation. It's the greatest sci-fi comedy ever written, and honestly, I've just always wanted to give it a try, so I'm doing just that

As for Atlas Shrugged, my meaning for that one is a little different from the other two. The Ayn Rand institution of Canada is having this massive essay competition, and the grand prize is $10,000. My English teacher recommended that I enter this, on the grounds that I'm pretty skilled at writing essays... the hardest thing about this (besides actually finishing the book... eleven-hundred pages of the tiniest text... it's going to take me a while) will be the brevity of the essay. I have to keep the things under a very strict 1600 word limit. Oh well... even if I don't do well with this essay, I can guarantee that this will be a learning experience for me.

*yawn* and now, off to bed before I die.

The makeup doesn't hide the dark rings

This play really takes it out of me... I don't know why though. It's not like it's really physically demanding or anything. All I know is that after I come home, I'm just exhausted, to the point that it's difficult to do little more than stand.
Ah well... one more night left. It's going to be the best one though. I can feel it.

P.S. Last night, I had repetitive horrific nightmares. All kinds of terrifying images and... gah, I woke up in a cold sweat three or four times. It was awful, especially considering how I don't usually have nightmares. I'm trying to figure out where they came from.

Are we human...?

I love dancing. Not the act (I really have two left feet), but the idea behind it. To me, dancing is the ultimate expression of letting go. Can you think of a single image more motivational than that of a young man and woman dancing together on a crowded sidewalk, disregarding the people running into them, or the looks of those around them, or even the lack of music.

Just freedom
Just dancing

There's something about moving hand in hand with a lover, be it in a crowded ballroom, a high-school gymnasium, or a dark pier, with only the moon to light you. It's almost electric, like sex in a weird sort of way. Sway, spin, gaze, it's all just so... emotional.

17

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Happy birthday to me!

Last time we talked Mr. Smith...

If there is anything that I've learned in life that is true no matter where you look, it's this fantastic little piece of wisdom that everybody should at the very least consider in daily life. Getting angry doesn't solve anything.

So simple it's stupid, right? I thought so too at first, but upon thinking about it in more depth I've come to the conclusion that there is nothing, at all that isn't true about this. I can't think of a single problem in the entire world that couldn't be solved ten times faster and with WAY less hassle if everybody in the world was totally capable of keeping their cool under any circumstances. I mean, it's probably be a lot less exciting, but still, the way I see it, it'd be a pretty big step up from how we often behave now

Just thinkin' out loud, I guess. That's what a blog is for, unless I'm mistaken

Run

Let's run
There's no need to sit anymore, waiting, reminiscing ideas and memories,
Because sometimes, that's all they are- memories.
And you know what?
I'd say we're overdue for some new ones.

Let's run
We don't need to talk.
Finally, I'll be able to hold you, and we can dance,
In the freezing rain, surrounded by grey horizons,
Save for our bubble of colour

Let's run
There's countries, continents, a whole world
That's been signed over in the name of the future
In the name of us, perfect lovers
Almighty sixteen and free

My Song

The following is a post from my old blog that I dug up. I really like the way that this one reads, so here is is. The date is somewhere around... Later October, I think.





Well, this last week has been an odd one. Fantastic highs, and laughably pitiful lows come together to make something that's memorable, but tiring beyond belief. Nothing I can't handle, but it just makes the whole idea of "When it rains, it pours" hit very close to home.

What I mean when I say that is, things don't happen a little bit at a time. Walls and rules have been formed over years upon years, and it takes a while to gather the momentum to breath through them without hurting anyone. Once you get moving though, you don't find you want to stop after getting past the first barrier... after all, after all of that effort, why stop, only to try to get the speed back up later? So you keep going and going, until you realize that your farther away from your starting point that what you ever thought you could get. Everything that you've rushed past is gone, and what's in front of you is something that you now know you posses the ability to bypass, but you still unsure if your really ready to get past it.

On a related note, is there a more powerful force than love? The jealousy, the heartache and the madness one girl can drive someone to is matched only by the joy, the life, the loss of sleep and the dreams that can be instilled in the same soul in but a second. To have your sanity ripped away with you, and exchanged with nothing but clouds, full of sunshine and storms. I can't help but smile every time I so much as think about her.

That's about all I've got to say for this week. Don't know when I'll write again, but it shouldn't be too long

All shadows have to have a light to be created.

Seventeen for Never

Five days until my seventeenth birthday. Honestly, seventeen is kind of a stupid year. Not quite eighteen, and nothing new from sixteen. The only meaningful thing I can think of is I can buy things with parental advisory stickers, or 'M' rated games (without having to lie to/sweet talk the clerk).

That play is on my birthday.. I can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing. I mean, it's feasible that one of my cast members will make me a cake, or at least remember, but on the other hand, I want to be able to do things on my birthday. Go break things with friends, rock out, eat cake, dinner with the family, things like that. Not sing in a musical

Blah. That is all

P.S. Despite what the records will show shortly, I'll still be my perfect, almighty sixteen and free inside.

Philosiraptor moment

Does using the term "Flutter tongue" in a sexual context make me a pervert or a band geek?

The First

I feel like such a musician right now. Earlier this evening I layed the guitar part to the new song my band is working on, so now all we have to do is re-record the drum track, and get the vocals on top of everything else. With any luck, this track really will get us somewhere... but more than that, the thing that I'm proud of is finally having some fruits of my efforts that I can share with the people who have supported me.


I swear, someday, my name is going to lights somewhere. You won't have to wonder where to look to find me. Someday, the easiest way to track me down will be to push your way to the center of the biggest, loudest crowd you've ever seen... but don't worry. All you have to do is call my name, and they'll all be gone in an instant.

Just you and me baby.

Now, for my next trick...

FINALLY! I've done it! Nearly three weeks and fifty-five hours later the task is complete. Final Fantasy XIII is no match to me as a gamer! Yay! I can free myself of the chokehold the plot has had on my life, and finally move on to bigger and better things!

(Seriously though, it was really good game, and I had a great time playing it... not to mention it had one of the better endings of any game I've played. Everything was wrapped up perfectly, and things just felt right.)




Cave Story, anyone?